Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i barfeds in our rink
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
