Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
