well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Randomize
