I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
