Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
