I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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