you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
