If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
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That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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