i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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