You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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