I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
