I CAN MOONWALK!
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
