Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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