the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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