yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
