I cannot find my penis.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
