and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My ass is underappreciated
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold