i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.