after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
