apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.