I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
