so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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