Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
