ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
