We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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