there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
