If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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