I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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