Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You ruined the universe
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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