I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize