you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
