I want to make a zoo with you.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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