To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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