we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize