Its about making memories worth repressing
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
