ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
