when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize