Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
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i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
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He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
In other news, I just burned my penis
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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