youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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