I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
