Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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