Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
