Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
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