I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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