its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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