You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
