Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
