Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
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i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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