Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
