I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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