So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
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He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
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party gras won. party gras always wins.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
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