My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
