I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
