So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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