Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
