fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.