Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's