Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
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When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
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I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world