So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016