u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
