i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
If you need anything just hit me up
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
The dick lei will go down in squad history