And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
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while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
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So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
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