and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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