I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
