You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
