Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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