Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense

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(417): View more from Missouri

true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!

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(831): View more from California

No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.

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(206): View more from Washington

I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.

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(216): View more from Ohio

Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.

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(727): View more from Florida

Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?

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(513): View more from Ohio

I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny

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(334): View more from Alabama

Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?

(334): View more from Alabama

Oh we're gynecologists

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(616): View more from Michigan

Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...

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