If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
