Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
