All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
