bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
