I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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