I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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