I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
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The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
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Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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