Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
