At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
